Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Day 40.

Just goes to show the objects of confection that I have been avoiding all week! 
My most favourite cupcake - Pink Champagne

So today is the day–The big 40.  
40 days since I've started this journey. And I'm am filled with mixed emotions. 
I am happy, proud, surprised, slightly disappointed and yet even more determined!
I've gone from 146.80 lbs to 140lbs.  6.8 pounds gone!
And somehow the 2 dueling sides are at odds. The competitive Skinny Girl on one shoulder is disappointed that it is not more–being 40 days–I should have been working harder! And yet, The Fat Girl on the other shoulder says "with all the traveling and working that you have been doing– Girl, you did good!" And they are both right! I am proud of what I have lost, it could have been nothing at all! And now that the fire has officially been lit, I am hungry for more! I am ready to work harder, push harder and I am excited! I guess these last 40 days have been the turning point that I needed to let me travel forward, to see the vision, see the goals that are very attainable and fuel the hunger to carry on.

I had wished that I had taken my measurements at the very beginning of this journey. Despite being 6.8 lbs down, DH argues that it is so much more than that. This past week, I have began to finally take notice, since DH and a few co-workers have started making remarks. I've kept quite about it because I don't really like to get my hopes up much. 
But I began to take some notice last weekend–it started with underwear. Tops + bottoms - elastic wasn't rolling over itself + the two seater convertible had a bit more wiggle room.  Then... on Monday, in a risk-taking attempt I try on a dress that has not been able to zip up in the back. It zipped! And not just a tight I can't breathe zip, but with a this is very comfy zip! So despite my blues yesterday, I tested my luck again. I tried on a pencil skirt that I could not even dare fit and have not worn in some time. It fit. Probably a little too snuggly for my self conscious modesty at this point. I even decided to wear my shirt tucked in!!! HORROR!!! But I had gotten several foxy blush-worthy compliments - so I guess that was a win. Despite the compliments, I do admit that after lunch, the shirt came un-tucked as I was feeling rather jelly bellyish for such tucking in. And finally today I dared to try on a tank top blouse that has been ill-fittingly tight around my chest and stomach and seemed rather shorter than I had remembered it being. I slipped on the tank. It fit with room and was actually a smidgen baggy and was actually long enough again that I could wear it with tights. 
So even though the scale has not moved enough in 40 days for The Skinny Girl to be satisfied. I am very happy with my accomplishments. And now even more fired up than ever! It's down to brass tacks and business now!
I decided today to set some new mini-goals to accomplish during my journey to the finale. These mini goals should be something I have as small stepping stones of measurement and provide me with absolute motivation to work toward until I eventually reach my ultimate goal. Even if I don't reach these mini goals in time, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. But I think it will be something fun to work towards in the meantime. These are my mini goals:

MINI GOAL#1 - Weigh 133 by August 5
MINI GOAL#2 - Weigh 125 by September 1
MINI GOAL#3 - Weigh 117 by September 23
FINAL GOAL - Weigh 110 by October 13 
I think these are very achievable goals if I stay determined and work hard! says the Skinny Girl. The Fat Girl is quivering, thinking omg. you foolish girl. (hey SG, stuff a sock in her mouth wouldja?) ha!

I am really excited and am ready to get to work. Tomorrows first mission - 5a gym workout + returning back to Zumba class after a long hiatus. I enjoyed getting out my pink Zumba dance pants and packing my gym bag with my Z gear. And oddly enough, I'm a little nervous about getting back in the groove. I hate going to class and not knowing all the new routines. But I'm sure once I hear the beats, I'll be shakin' my booty and have totally forgotten about my butterflies...
I am signing off... If I plan on getting back to a double routine - I need a good nights sleep. Happy 40 days! - Looking forward to the future that is going to be sweeter than a cupcake!

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